A solution solution?

Of all limp words I hate in technology PR, 'solution' has to top the list.

Don't go running to check on whether Rainier PR press releases contain the word, a lot of them undoubtedly do. And sometimes, it's the only word that will do the job. But if you want publicity, profess a solution and can't convey the problem, you won't get very far with a journalist.

Which begs the question - why do blindingly obvious problems need a solution to be evaluated/chosen (and an IT provider to consult/install) when there's only one possible solution anyway?

I was struck by this again on my way in this morning when I cycled past a van in one of Islington's scummier parts labelled 'project solutions'. Need a project doing? Go to someone who does project solutions, and they just may have a solution for you, so long as it's a project. I've also seen 'drain unblocking solutions'. Suggest if that's your problem, getting the drain unblocked is your solution. The alternative will stink.

Problem is, when it comes to technology press releases, particularly when you're describing a software 'environment', what's the alternative?

Package? A bit too much like appendage probably.

System? Normally conotations of guts-level computing like System 390 may confuse.

Product? God no, it's so, so much more.

So there you have it. We need a solution.

Lie of the Tiger

A great bit of blog management is doing the rounds today.

After blog chieftain Levinator waxed lyrical about a flaw in the EA Games Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08 game, where the champ tees off from the middle of a pond, EA Games hit back in cheeky style.

The games giant has made fun of the blogger's pop at the game by recreating the 'Jesus shot' for 'real', using some film trickery obviously.

Dilemma: blogger has made a mockery of your product via YouTube, how best to respond? Answer: use YouTube and take the p*ss back. Even if it is a complete and utter fabrication.

Teasing bloggers can be a dangerous game, but when it's done with such panache it shows how public relations can adjust its mindset to the appetites of diversified media - rather than focusing narrowly on the product's virtues and managing every slight blip as a crisis.

Looks like a tank engine, is a tank engine

It was with horror that I passed Hamleys yesterday and noticed that Thomas The Tank Engine has been rebranded Thomas & Friends.

I was not, er, chuffed.

Why is there a need to fiddle with brands that are well loved, have global recognition and are highly unlikely to merge with anything that would necessitate a name swap? OK, the crunch is here so Bob The Builder might get drafted in to torque Thomas' finer parts in a cost-saving maintenance outsourcing drive, but even so surely he could do so in a special guest capacity, like in The Simpsons?

New life must always be breathed into brands, but meddling with a childhood institution just to align it with a broader brand portfolio does nothing but dilute things. And Thomas always had mates anyway. And look, be honest, he absolutely is, without doubt, a tank engine.

Shave to love

Are beards bad?

Many women I've discussed this with say they'd make their man shave it off if they grew one. But reading the stories about Gary Glitter this lunchtime and spotting his ridiculous new facial attachment made me think - are beards bad for business? As a tech PR person, should you advise your clients to be clean-shaven because, well, not many people really actually like beards?

Me being daft perhaps. And there are plenty of very successful UK businessmen who have beards (I can think of two in particular).

But I scanned this week's Computing and not a single person pictured in it - stories and ads - is bearded. I Googled for information on how many UK males sport beards. Reports were inconclusive. Yet apparently questions have already been raised about whether techies and scientists in labs should have them. And many people I've discussed beards with reckon that generally speaking they struggle to see beyond the beard when talking to someone who has one.

So if your spokesperson doesn't shave, maybe it's time to buy them a Gillette.

Wikipedia cites beards as potentially indicative of wisdom, or even virility. I am not convinced. Of course beards have huge religious significance, but if your religion isn't pro-beard, or you aren't religious, why do it?

Of course, it's a purely personal choice. But if we have to advise clients on what to wear for interviews, shouldn't we be considering these broader issues?

The same stigma as reading a dirty magazine?

I keep seeing more and more publishers launching video news services to augment their text-based news.

The IT and telecoms press have had their video interviews and case study clips for a while now. But it strikes me this is expanding into many other media too - I just tripped across the Southern Daily Echo's service, which is a great outlet for PR information if it's well packaged, particularly technology PR where the moving image can liven up a complicated story.

But there still seems to be a big social barrier to watching video clips while in the office. No-one would blink an eye if you were reading the FT online. But watch video news and everyone assumes you're wasting time on YouTube.

I've seen lots of people gingerly twist their screens out of view and turn the volume down when watching video news, embarrasedly looking over their shoulders. They'd look less ashamed if they had a dirty mag out on the desk.

So have pubishers really considered this barrier to the fast-growing video news medium? Perhaps they need some PR to help convince employers it can be a good thing, not just a time drain.

Humiliation is the insincerest form of flattery

Ever done the invitation (not invite, that is of course a verb) list for a press event and thought 'actually some of these are second tier hacks, so we'll put them on the B list and only invite them if we don't get enough others'? No, me neither.

But that fantasy was in sharp focus this week when I got several invitations to allegedly wonderful and exclusive evening events on the evening of the event - sometimes once it had already started.

Is this an example of a wonderful new digital marketing tactic, given the abundance of Blackberries and the likelihood that people in the West End mid-evening will probably be checking their devices moreso than during the busy day, and so may be tempted to turn up, perhaps the worse for wear?

Or does it just confirm my Z list status?

Here's an example from last night. Out for drinks with a client, I was emailed this 'exclusive' invitation at 7.39pm:

The Red Rooms Gentlemen’s Club invites you “BACK TO SCHOOL” - Sexy Dancers in Skimpy School Uniforms - Wednesday, 20th August, 10PM till Late at The Red Rooms Gentlemen’s Club, 4 Great Queen Street, WC2B 5DG
ENJOY A C-O-M-P-L-I-M-E-N-T-A-R-Y GLASS OF WINE OR BOTTLE OF BEER
&
F-R-E-E ENTRY TO THE CLUB, FOR YOU AND YOUR COLLEAGUES!
As an incentive for all of you hard working men, Wednesday night only, we are offering you and your office colleagues f-r-e-e entry to our exclusive theme night. Use this opportunity to take your office team out, praise those who have worked vigorously and as a team building experience for those who need a little push!
Is there a better way to enjoy a Wednesday night out? Can you do much better than the company of our charming, naughty “school girls”, topped by the special guest performer “Kitty Kitty Bang Bang”???

Not my cup of tea and I don't think my client would have been up for it. A few of my colleagues might have been interested in some special team building.

So is this a plague of these types of last-minute humiliating invitations beseiging London workers? Or is it just me?

Chip and PaIN

Chip and PIN has been with us since 2004. So why is it I feel no more secure than I did before? And keep having wierd point-of-sale incidents?

I've been having this chat with several people recently: whereas when C&P came in waiters would casually glance away while you punched in the digits, these days many of them brazenly watch your every move.

Then on holiday last week I had the ultimate mockery of the added security that the technology is supposed to provide. In a Swedish supermarket, the cashier wanted to see personal ID, as the PIN alone wasn't enough for a foreign cardholder. The manager came over, glanced at my driving licence and asked "Is your date of birth DATE MAY YEAR?"

"Yes, because I am agreeing with what you are reading off my card," I said while the groceries were bagged.

Chip and PIN can clearly be far more secure than scrawled signatures on bits of paper. But it is a sticking plaster until better technology is applied to securing transactions.

Until then, I'll keep hunching my shoulders and holding the machine at strange angles.

They're not kidding

Last post for a week for me - off to sample the servile delights of Ryanair, the airline that used to let families with small children board first at no cost but now charges 46 quid for this, in what it touts as a 'new family-friendly service'.

Doppelganger almostclanger

PR can be strange. So thinking on the feet helps. Ultimately, spokespeople need to be able to shape their content and message to suit the tastes of the audience/media they're engaging with.

I was reminded of this in no uncertain terms this morning at the opening to a live interview on Country Mix 106.8, Dublin's best-known country and western radio station (how could I say no?). As they led me in I was kept on hold listening to commentary about some compelling and no doubt highly-talented country artistes. I'd done my prep, and was ready for the first question in our chat about Rainier PR's Amy Winehouse media consumption story.

Then came the first question: "Our listeners are dying to know - are you the same Steve Earle who dazzles them regularly with his musical genius and hits such as Galway Girl?" Had me stumped - sometimes the answer is a big fat no but the questions still throws you.

Thankfully other media, inlcuding Perez Hilton, have not been asking such probing questions in covering the story.

A streetcar blamed desire

Have you joined Britain's fastest-growing club yet?

It's a fashion thing, but apparently if - like me - you've been snapped by one of Google's StreetView cars, you can consider yourself lucky.

People across the UK have been spotting what Google has been quietly working on - taking pictures at street level in towns and cities across the country. I was pictured in Soho recently, no doubt looking fairly moronic in an early morning attempt to cross the street.

Today SC Magazine raises an interesting point - putting the rest of the privacy debate to one side, what if you get pictured in a compromising position, like the Arsenal fan outside the Emirates photographed by the Spurs fan who leaves the last three letters out of the frame?

What if half the PRs working in central London get pictured outside a peep show premises as they walk innocently with a client through the streets?

What if journalists who said they didn't want an interview because they were at a press event all day are actually snapped popping out for a sarnie across the road from the office?

Google will no doubt say it's not driving the need for this, that it's people who desire the ability to see images at a street level.

At least it might save me the cost of that webcam above the door to our building, so I can see who's sneaking in late.

Lesson in answering the phone

I'm going to sound like a tw&t now, but the story goes like this. I was booked in for a massage yesterday at this lovely place on Poland Street - I'm not that much of a ponce, I just had a bad back and needed it sorting out.

So when I phoned at lunchtime to move the appointment, the receptionist said: "Steve you are naughty, that's the second time you've done that recently. No worries, we completely understand, come in this evening instead." Service with a smile.

This is just how businesses should be treating (ir)regular customers by phone to encourage them to keep coming back. CTI so they knew who was calling, a quick check on my records, some notes to indicate they could afford to be cheeky with me, etc. It was a new receptionist I'd never spoken to before, but I was made to feel like a cherished customer.

So why is it most PR firms make a hash of this when clients and prospects call? The main switchboard number remains the frontline for most agencies. Yet I've seen countless agencies with receptionists who don't know who the clients are, fumble around when fielding new business calls, etc etc. Front desk needs good training and to be a working part of the business.

We're in the communications industry and our work is supposed to enhance reputations and support sales, so we could at least put some effort into how we answer our own phones. Thankfully Rainier PR doesn't fall into this category and calls get fielded with aplomb. It's just that so many agencies make an arse of it.

PR firms are being shown how to do it right - by a massage parlour (sorry, didn't mean that, it's really not that kind of place).